This Holidays

Writen by Lisa Rickwood

If you dread the impending holiday season (extra shopping, errands, money spent…) then you're probably an overburdened, working person balancing a million things on your plate. This time of year can stress out even the most Zen-like person.

The holidays should be a time of connection with friends and family and a time to relax, rest and reflect on the past year. Instead, it's often a time of rushing, spending, agonizing, shopping and over-indulging.

You may not be able to eliminate all your stress, but you can master it when you learn five simple secrets to low stress holidays.

First Secret: Do a little planning. Decide when to have a holiday party, how much to budget for gifts, how many people to buy for and if you're sending out cards or corporate gifts. Take an afternoon and record your intentions.

We often begin this intention but lose focus three-quarters of the way through the season. Make it a point to stick to your objectives. If your budget is tight, don't overspend; the people receiving your gift will know you're stressed and they don't want to be a part of that.

Second Secret: Simplify what you just wrote. Yes, that's right - eliminate something that's not urgent. Maybe you don't need to send out cards this year - a phone call or email may suffice. Decide what can be trimmed from your plan. One year I didn't send out cards and guess what, the world didn't end. In fact, no one mentioned that they didn't get cards.

Third Secret: Eliminate perfection. I'm not sure who decided our Christmases have to be like the Norman Rockwell paintings. I don't know one family who has a perfect family life – we all have funny or stressful members in our clan. The trick is to accept this and move on; just try to enjoy what we can in a family or group situation.

When we set out to buy presents, stop trying to make everything perfect and just aim for 'good enough.' This is very liberating when buying gifts; instead of running from store to store trying to find the 'perfect' gift, grab the first item that seems 'okay.'

Fourth Secret: Connect with people. We all know this and do this by working harder, attending parties and socials, but really listen to what others are saying instead of thinking about what 'must get done.' Get to know people, ask questions and be of service. Enjoy the moment - it goes by too quickly.

Those with growing small children know all too well about the passing of time. Life goes by so fast that by the time you slow down enough to enjoy it, the season is over and you've got the memory on your digital camera.

Fifth Secret: Escape. What does this mean? Take some escape time for yourself; if you work with people all the time, this will be the most important activity you practice.

I work in retail and offer business coaching and although I love my work, there are days when a brisk walk outdoors or good movie and no interruptions would be heaven.

If your idea of escaping is taking a holiday, visiting the spa, playing racquetball, lifting weights or watching a movie, honor yourself by doing it every day. You don't need a day or afternoon - even 20 minutes doing something fun helps you as you're less inclined to be rude, get aggressive or end up sick. This secret is practiced by all successful people; they know how to recharge so they get in the zone and optimize their energy.

If you practice these five secrets, your holidays will be happier, healthier and more prosperous.

Writen by Beiling Lee

1. Go out to dinner with your friends. If you have other single friends, call them up and tell them that you're going out. Keeping in mind that most restaurants are going to be packed and some require reservations for Valentine's Day, so be flexible if you don't already have plans.

2. Hit the clubs. There is no better way to meet other singles than to hit the clubs. Sure, you're going to run into the pawing couples, but there are a going to plenty of other singles anxious to meet new people.

3. Not in the mood to get all dolled up? Fine, go to Barnes and Nobles. There's you might run into a well-read man, or possibly a fellow geek hanging out in the technology section.

4. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Don't hesitate in making the first move. Guys sometimes get the wrong impression. We don't always send the right signals that tells a guy we're interested, or even available. So, if you see a guy, think he's cute, just say, "Hello." What's the worst that can happen?

5. Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Not every girl getting flowers is happy in her relationship. Valentine's Day lasts for 24 hours, but a happy relationship is more than a dozen roses.

Remember, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single, just don't be a pitiful single. People can smell desperation from miles away and they usually run in the opposite direction. No matter what you end up doing, don't let it be in front of the tube and please put the ice cream down. There's a whole world out there. Now get out and enjoy it!

Beiling was recently added as new columnist on The Cozy Shack (http://www.thecozyshack.com). She answers questions submitted by readers (askbeiling@thecozyshack.com). Her candid, sincere approach makes her a welcome to The Cozy Shack family.

Writen by Eddie Tobey

Christmas gifts for the men in your life could be personalized, popular or practical. It depends on the man and your relationship with him. There are gifts for male friends, co-workers, boyfriends, husbands and family members, and there are hundreds of ideas waiting for you online, at the mall or in one of many boutiques.

If you are buying a gift for an acquaintance or co-worker, you can't go wrong with a monogrammed men's cashmere scarf, leather card case, accessories box or a gourmet gift tower. These items can be found in any department store, men's shop or on the Internet. Gadgets like a photo frame that also has the indoor/outdoor temperature and time is unique. You could give it with or without a photo. There are also several good gift ideas for the sport's buff. This includes a golf basket, tickets to a sporting event or a tee shirt bearing his favorite team's logo.

For someone very special -- a boyfriend or husband-- a cashmere sweater, portable DVD, Swiss army knife, watches with portable TV or a monogrammed bathrobe is sure to please. If you're thinking more romantically, a chest filled with "love" is the way to go. These chests come filled with romantic games, body rubs, incense and other romantic gifts that will give both the man you love and you hours of fun. A massage chair, heart monitor, air purifier or jogging stroller will also send a special message that you care, and what better than a food and wine gourmet gift basket to enjoy by the fire on a cold winter's night?

Ideas for men's gifts are endless, so your plan should be to first find out his likes and dislikes. Once you've done that decide how much you want to spend and find a gift that's meaningful and fits within your budget. If you're a true friend or lover, he'll love the gift no matter what it is.

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