This Holidays

Writen by Janette Vince

Your mum deserves the best. But mothers are often a bit overlooked in the gifts department. Many mums spend hours of time and lots of energy picking out just the right gifts for everyone in their families—only to find coal in their own stockings! If you want to give your mother a present this year that she'll be thrilled to receive, follow our advice and avoid these seven gift blunders.

A blender - Getting anything related to the kitchen can be a touchy gift for a mom. It sends the message that you think her place is in the kitchen—which, even if she's the main cook in the house, isn't the message she wants to get on holidays! Avoid other kitchen-related gifts as well, like food processors, aprons, sponges, dishwashing soap, or electric mixers. If you do want to give her kitchen hardware, get her a luxury-based item like an espresso or cappuccino maker (only if you know she likes espresso and cappuccino!) or a fancy bronze teapot. Make sure the item you get isn't associated with workaday food preparation. Choose a luxury item she'd appreciate but probably wouldn't buy for herself.

A new cookbook - This one's even worse. It sends the message that you don't like the food she ordinarily cooks—especially if you pick a cookbook that features food she doesn't normally cook, like Thai food if she's a strictly meat-and-potatoes person, gourmet if she prefers quick-and-easy recipes, or Mexican if she's a health nut. An exception, however, is an autographed cookbook from a celebrity chef she really admires. Make sure it's someone she'd love an autograph from—a personality whose show she watches religiously.

A mug - If she's like most moms, she has a million mugs already. Mugs are the kind of gifts most people give when they're at a loss as to what else would make a good present, and nobody's fooled. When you were a kid, you could probably get away with giving her a "World's Best Mum" mug for a Christmas present, but now that you're an adult, it's a habit you should give up.

Scented bubble bath - It seems like a great idea at first—but scented bath oil, lotion, shampoos, or any other "smelly" gifts tend to be the most often returned. That's because most people are very specific about the smells they like and don't like. If you get the wrong scent or even the wrong brand—where a "lemon" scent from one brand might be radically different from another company's idea of "lemon"—you might just wind up giving her a gift she'll never use.

Breakfast in bed before she's ready to get up - Sure, breakfast in bed is always appreciated. But don't bring it in before she's already awake. Waking her up before she's ready sends the message that this isn't a day she can relax. Give her the message that you want her to have a nice, relaxing and leisurely day by bringing her tea or coffee first, made just the way she likes it. If she's still half awake when you bring it in, tell her you brought her something to warm up with while you put breakfast together. Then take your time cooking. Make sure she gets the sleep she wants, especially if she's usually up early taking care of the family.

A day full of chores - Nothing gives a mum more chagrin than having to do most of the housework on a special holiday. Pitch in to do the laundry, clean the kitchen, clear the table—and don't wait for her to ask! Most mums appreciate help with chores just as much as the most well thought out present.

A vacuum cleaner - These are bad gift ideas all around—even if she really does need a new one. It's never a good idea to give a mother any gift that reinforces her role as the person in charge of household chores—it sends the message that you see her as a maid. This includes feather dusters, mops, brooms, and any other cleaning supplies. If you do want to give her a cleaning-related gift that's sure to be appreciated, however, give her a break from doing the chores. Buy her a month's worth of house-cleaning from a reputable service—get recommendations from friends and family if you don't know which to choose. Or offer to do her most-hated household chore for a month—and she's sure to love you for it.

Your mother's love is unconditional. She'll probably still love you after you give her that same "World's Best Mum" mug you gave her last Christmas. However, if you want to make your mother happy on birthdays and holidays, follow our advice and avoid these gifts. You might just find that your holiday experience improves, as well!