This Holidays

Writen by Carolina Fernandez

With six shopping days left until Christmas, many of you may still be searching for that perfect gift; wrapping way past your bedtime; joining the stampede at your local post office; and putting last minute touches on everything from your decorating to your dinner plans to your gingerbread men.

Ahhh! Christmas.

I anticipate its arrival every year with a spirit open to its marvelous story; and I engage midway through its certain presence with anxiety about getting everything "done." My most dreaded fear: winding up too exhausted, too spent, and too complacent to thoroughly embrace the message and the miracle of Christmas.

Friends have cautioned me—particularly this year, what with Nick's leukemia and almost-daily three-hour round-trips to the clinic where he receives chemotherapy—that this would be a good year to not be overly involved in preparations for Christmas. Not to "not do" Christmas…for how could a Christian ignore one of the holiest days of the year? But to scale back in the traditional celebrations of the season. And I have. No ladies luncheon at my house (a tradition for the past ten years or so); no dinner parties, either (another favorite tradition); no offering to host a session of the neighborhood progressive dinner party. Some even questioned if we would put up a tree this year! Or go to the "trouble" of decorating!

Our tree went up several weeks ago, as did pinecone-studded garlands and candle lights in every window. And my Byers Choice carolers, handcrafted Saint Nick's, and folk art angels have been lovingly set out throughout the house.

For Christmas comes regardless of one's circumstances. And we need to celebrate it.

But the one thing that friends most cautioned me about—with my best interests at heart to be sure—was to foregone gift-giving this year. That taking care of our son need be our highest priority and that everything else could, and should, fall by the wayside. The friendly advice was purely cautionary: don't wear yourself out. Go easy this year. No need to shop, to wrap, to ship, to deliver. Forget the trouble of wrapping paper, gift tags, Christmas cards, and photos. Standing in line at the post office—what…are you nutz?!?

And it was good advice. Friendly, loving advice. But I just couldn't help it. And I hope you can't either. Christmas is not about acquiring, and we all know that. Christmas is about giving, and we've all heard that, too. No news flash here. But God was generous in His gift of His son, and having fully embraced this truth, I cannot help but give also.

Eugene Peterson, one of my most beloved authors and the translator of THE MESSAGE, said it beautifully: "Giving is the style of the universe. Giving is woven into the fabric of existence." (1) In this lavish order of the world that God created, giving serves a central role. God gave away His son, Jesus, for all of us to accept as a gift. And one of the ways in which we celebrate this gift is to give, also.

Again, from Peterson: "Giving is what we do best. It is the air into which we were born. It is the action that was designed into us before our birth. Giving is the way the world is. God gives himself. He also gives away everything that is. He makes no exceptions for any of us. We are given away to our families, to our neighbors, to our friends, to our enemies—to the nations. Our life is for others. That is the way creation works." (2)

I give at Christmas because God gave to me. He gave me His son who would take center stage in my life. And celebrating this at Christmas gives me unexplainable joy. Through injury, accidents, and now, through my son's cancer: I give because I just can't help it. My gifts are not extravagant. Not to my friends, certainly. They are always tiny tokens of appreciation for the gift of intimate relationship. And what a precious gift that is! And they're usually not extravagant to my kids or to my husband, either. The point here is not to indulge in materialistic expressions that stroke egos requiring status symbols or a gimme gimme modus operandi. Gifts are given that say: "I love you. Thank you for loving me, too. Here is a small token of that love." Simple gifts.

I pray at Christmas that you model a life of generosity. Not just in your thoughtful gifts to friends and family. But that you practice generosity in your time and in your talents, too. That you sing in a choir because God gave you the voice of a songbird. That you play the violin at your church's midnight candlelight service—as are two of my children—because you are able to share developed talent for the enjoyment of others. That you take an elderly neighbor to the grocery store—as does my neighbor, Nancy—because she knows how much it means to her friend to get out and about. That you take dinner to a family in crisis—as have more neighbors in our town than I am able to count during these past eight weeks—because you understand the physical and emotional toll of childhood cancer. That you entertain friends and strangers alike—"angels unaware"—because you grasp the joys of hospitality. That you promise to lift up someone in need, because you've witnessed the power of intercessory prayer and know that the time spend doing so for someone else will make a difference this Christmas.

Peterson, the poet, says it best: "We don't think we can live generously because we have never tried. But the sooner we start the better, for we are going to have to give up our lives finally, and the longer we wait the less time we have for the soaring and swooping life of grace." (3)

May you be filled with all blessings on Christmas Day—and everyday—by giving away.

Merry, merry Christmas!

Carolina

NOTES: Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright (c) by Eugene H. Peterson, 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

1. Eugene H. Peterson, Run with the horses (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 1983), p. 42.

2. Ibid., p. 43.

3. Ibid.

Carolina Fernandez earned an M.B.A. and worked at IBM and as a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch before coming home to work as a wife and mother of four. She totally re-invented herself along the way. Strong convictions were born about the role of the arts in child development; ten years of homeschooling and raising four kids provide fertile soil for devising creative parenting strategies. These are played out in ROCKET MOM! 7 Strategies To Blast You Into Brilliance. It is widely available online, in bookstores or through 888-476-2493. She writes extensively for a variety of parenting resources and teaches other moms via seminars, workshops, keynotes and monthly meetings of the ROCKET MOM SOCIETY, a sisterhood group she launched to "encourage, equip and empower moms for excellence." Please visit http://www.rocketmom.com